Get Up - Embrace the Struggle

Image used under license from Freestock.com

The other day I watched my one year old nephew walk clumsily around, holding my dad’s hand for support. He’s clearly not a proficient walker; he had to rely on his grandpa’s help to get safely up and down the small set of stairs up onto the patio. Fortunately for my nephew, his lack of skill doesn’t prevent him from trying. In fact, in his own way he’s quite mobile, and with the constant practice he’s getting better. As a child, he hasn’t been brainwashed into thinking he can’t. He continues to work at it without shame or embarrassment at his frequent failures. We can apply the same tenacity to learning any new skill or concept if we simply embrace the struggle and accept that at first, we’ll suck.
 
That period of struggle is very real anytime we try something new. We’re simply not automatically good. There’s a commonly shared idea that suggests that it requires 10,000 hours of practice before we’ve mastered a skill. I don’t know whether that’s true or not, but the point is that it takes time and effort. If you want to grow, you MUST go through the sometimes painful process of growth.
 
The first public speaking course I had in college was memorable for a number of reasons, but there is one in particular that stands out. A young man, clearly nervous and extremely apprehensive got up to give his first speech and noted his struggles with public speaking. He said that as a boy he was asked to speak in his church on the biblical story of Jonah. He was so anxious that he forgot to mention the whale! Still, he pressed through and finished not only that first speech but the course as well. He accepted that he wouldn’t be good at first, but he was willing to move forward from that starting point. And that’s exactly where we’re at: the starting point. Being at the start means that we’re probably very far from perfect. With that in mind, here’s a few ideas to help you move from the start, to wherever it is you want to be.
 

1. Forget Perfectionism – You must forget about being perfect for a while. Once you’ve developed proficiency in your new skill, you can start buffing off the rough edges but for now, accept that you’ll suck.
2. Break it down into smaller components. If you’re learning to speak in public, don’t get up in front of a group while telling yourself all the things you need to do. Pick one or two and practice them. For example, you might focus on eye contact. When I first started speaking I had to focus on not touching my face while I spoke. Master the one thing, then move to the next.
3. Practice Privately - It can help to build proficiency at a skill in private. Most of the words I’ve written will never see the light of day. I practiced alone and gained skill through trial and error.
4. Practice With Trusted Colleagues - My wife is learning public speaking skills in her Toastmaster’s club; a supportive group of individuals all pursuing a common goal.
5. Take Note of Incremental Improvements – As you go through the process, jot down your thoughts on paper or record them on your phone. In a month, read or listen to them and you’ll be astounded at the growth if you’ve practiced regularly.
   

Friends, if you want to experience true growth in your abilities and gain confidence in yourself, it’s time to embrace the suck. Learn to crawl, then walk, then run. When embarrassment creeps in because you’re worried about what others think, you must be persistent in reminding yourself that you’ve got nowhere to go but up. Remember, the greatest experts in the world all started as novices. Be willing to start at the bottom and work your way to mastery. Do it over and over again in as many areas and with as many things as you have a desire to learn. Do that, and just imagine what you’ll be capable of in 10 years.